In between . . .

I always feel like I am "in between". I'm not even sure how to describe it. I feel pulled in different directions all the time. I feel like my life wants me to do so many things but I don't know how i would find the time. I am going to let you in on a little secret that I find hard to say to anyone, sometimes I think that it is silly but here it goes;

When I was 10 years old I read a book called "Alex the life of a child" it is about a little girl with a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis. I cried and cried and cried over the trials that this little girl went through. Her strength her courage and the courage of her parents.

This book that I read when I was a child made me want to become a Dr. with a speciality in CF*. I wanted this more than anything, I wanted to ease sufferenig to help these childern lead happy and healthy lives. I still want it however...

I let life stop me from being what I wanted. I grew up the hard way I won't elaborate as I am not ready to put that out for the world to see but I didn't go school and start on the path I was so sure as a child I would follow.

Now don't get me wrong, I am married to the most wonderful man on the earth and I have 2 beautiful boys who are everything to me. My life after I was incontrol of it has been nothing but a blessing. My god is and has always been good to me.

But I still have a need to help this cause. I don't know how though I have never been directly affected by CF* no one in my family has it, no one I know has it, but this disease weighs heavy on my heart.

I want to volunteer to help but I feel like people will this it odd because I have not been personally affected by CF.

Oh well, I am, as always conflicted but my always present God will show me the way as he has always done.


Valinda